I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
