This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
