So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize