I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
