So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
