It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
