Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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