And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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