hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
sex in a hospital.. check
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
