I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
