No awkward lesbian experiences without me
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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