So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
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Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
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You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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