oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
