have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
