Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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