He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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