whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
