My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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