Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
