Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
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I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
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got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.