Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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