omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
ra ra ra ah ah
sexting lady gaga style
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Pants are for mortals