Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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