we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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