No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
