I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
