I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
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I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
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am i new drunk or am i still drunk
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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