she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
