Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
