check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
