it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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