Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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