Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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