so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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