Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
