I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
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Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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