to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots