Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So many bounce houses so little time
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.