the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video