we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
