I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack