im gay
i know
yea but for you.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
