I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
