I CAN MOONWALK!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
