just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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