I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
