I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
