i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
smell my finger.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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