did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
