It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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