Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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