his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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