There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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