Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
