So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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