just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
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So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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