I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
