Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
