The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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