just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
