It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dick very happy bro
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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