i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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