She said her name was "party"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
