so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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