Your face is a jimmy john
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
