if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
