It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
