I want to walk on stilts...naked
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
