Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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